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<issue>
<title>The Spectator 242</title>
<header>
  <number>no. 242</number>
  <date>1711-12-07</date>
  <author>Richard Steele</author>
  <quotation>Creditur, ex medio quia res arcessit, habere</quotation>
  <quotation>Sudoris minimum------- Hor.<link name="(*)" url="http://tabula.rutgers.edu/cocoon/latintexts/horace/epistulae/2epistula1.xml"></link></quotation>
  <translation>Hor. 2 Ep. i. 168-9.</translation>
  <translation>To write on vulgar themes, is thought an easy task.</translation>
  </header>
<text>
<paragraph><italic>Mr.</italic> SPECTATOR,</paragraph>
<paragraph>YOUR Speculations do not so generally prevail over Mens
Manners as I could wish. A former Paper of yours<footnote name="(1)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote> concerning the
Misbehaviour of People, who are necessarily in each other's Company
in travelling, ought to have been a lasting Admonition against
Transgressions of that Kind: But I had the Fate of your Quaker, in
meeting with a rude Fellow in a Stage-Coach, who entertained two or
three Women of us (for there was no Man besides himself) with
Language as indecent as was ever heard upon the Water. The
impertinent Observations which the Coxcomb made upon our Shame and
Confusion were such, that it is an unspeakable Grief to reflect
upon them. As much as you have declaimed against Duelling, I hope
you will do us the Justice to declare, that if the Brute has
Courage enough to send to the Place where he saw us all alight
together to get rid of him, there is not one of us but has a Lover
who shall avenge the Insult. It would certainly be worth your
Consideration, to look into the frequent Misfortunes of this kind,
to which the Modest and Innocent are exposed, by the licentious
Behaviour of such as are as much Strangers to good Breeding as to
Virtue. Could we avoid hearing what we do not approve, as easily as
we can seeing what is disagreeable, there were some Consolation;
but since [in a Box at a Play,<footnote name="(2)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote>] in an Assembly of Ladies, or
even in a Pew at Church, it is in the Power of a gross Coxcomb to
utter what a Woman cannot avoid hearing, how miserable is her
Condition who comes within the Power of such Impertinents? And how
necessary is it to repeat Invectives against such a Behaviour? If
the Licentious had not utterly forgot what it is to be modest, they
would know what offended Modesty labours under one of the greatest
Sufferings to which human Life can be exposed. If one of these
Brutes could reflect thus much, tho' they want Shame, they would be
moved, by their Pity, to abhor an impudent Behaviour in the
Presence of the Chaste and Innocent. If you will oblige us with a
<italic>Spectator</italic> on this Subject, and procure it to be pasted against
every Stage-Coach in <italic>Great-Britain,</italic> as the Law of the Journey, you
will highly oblige the whole Sex, for which you have professed so
great an Esteem; and in particular, the two Ladies my late
Fellow-Sufferers, and,</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>SIR, Your most humble Servant,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>Rebecca Ridinghood.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Mr.</italic> SPECTATOR,</paragraph>
<paragraph>The Matter which I am now going to send
you, is an unhappy Story in low Life, and will recommend it self,
so that you must excuse the Mariner of expressing it. A poor idle
drunken Weaver in <italic>Spittle-Fields</italic> has a faithful laborious Wife who
by her Frugality and Industry had laid by her as much Money as
purchased her a Ticket in the present Lottery. She had hid this
very privately in the Bottom of a Trunk, and had given her Number
to a Friend and Confident, who had promised to keep the Secret, and
bring her News of the Success. The poor Adventurer was one Day gone
abroad, when her careless Husband, suspecting she had saved some
Money, searches every Corner, till at length he finds this same
Ticket; which he immediately carries abroad, sells, and squanders
away the Money without the Wife's suspecting any thing of the
Matter. A Day or two after this, this Friend, who was a Woman,
comes and brings the Wife word, that she had a Benefit of Five
Hundred Pounds. The poor Creature overjoyed, flies up Stairs to her
Husband, who was then at Work, and desires him to leave his Loom
for that Evening, and come and drink with a Friend of his and hers
below. The Man received this chearful Invitation as bad Husbands
sometimes do, and after a cross Word or two told her he wouldn't
come. His Wife with Tenderness renewed her Importunity, and at
length said to him, My Love! I have within these few Months,
unknown to you, scraped together as much Money as has bought us a
Ticket in the Lottery, and now here is Mrs. <italic>Quick</italic> [come<footnote name="(2)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote>] to
tell me, that 'tis come up this Morning a Five hundred Pound Prize.
The Husband replies immediately, You lye, you Slut, you have no
Ticket, for I have sold it. The poor Woman upon this Faints away in
a Fit, recovers, and is now run distracted. -As she had no Design
to defraud her Husband, but was willing only to participate in his
good Fortune, everyone pities her, but thinks her Husband's
Punishment but just. This, Sir, is Matter of Fact, and would, if
the Persons and Circumstances were greater, in a well-wrought Play
be called <italic>Beautiful Distress.</italic> I have only sketched it out with
Chalk, and know a good Hand can make a moving Picture with worse
Materials.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>SIR, &#38;c.</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Mr.</italic> SPECTATOR,</paragraph>
<paragraph>I am what the World calls a
warm Fellow, and by good Success in Trade I have raised myself to a
Capacity of making some Figure in the World; but no matter for
that. I have now under my Guardianship a couple of Nieces, who will
certainly make me run mad; which you will not wonder at, when I
tell you they are Female Virtuosos, and during the three Years and
a half that I have had them under my Care, they never in the least
inclined their Thoughts towards any one single Part of the
Character of a notable Woman. Whilst they should have been
considering the proper Ingredients for a Sack-posset, you should
hear a Dispute concerning the [ magnetick<footnote name="(4)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote>] Virtue of the
Loadstone, or perhaps the Pressure of the Atmosphere: Their
Language is peculiar to themselves, and they scorn to express
themselves on the meanest Trifle with Words that are not of a <italic>Latin</italic>
Derivation. But this were supportable still, would they suffer me
to enjoy an uninterrupted Ignorance; but, unless I fall in with
their abstracted Idea of Things (as they call them) I must not
expect to smoak one Pipe in Quiet. In a late Fit of the Gout I
complained of the Pain of that Distemper when my Niece <italic>Kitty</italic> begged
Leave to assure me, that whatever I might think, several great
Philosophers, both ancient and modern, were of Opinion, that both
Pleasure and Pain were imaginary [Distinctions<footnote name="(5)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote>], and that there
was no such thing as either <italic>in rerum Natura.</italic> I have often heard
them affirm that the Fire was not hot; and one Day when I, with the
Authority of an old Fellow, desired one of them to put my blue
Cloak on my Knees; she answered, Sir, I will reach the Cloak; but
take notice, I do not do it as allowing your Description; for it
might as well be called Yellow as Blue; for Colour is nothing but
the various Infractions of the Rays of the Sun. Miss <italic>Molly</italic> told me
one Day; That to say Snow was white, is allowing a vulgar Error;
for as it contains a great Quantity of nitrous Particles, it [might
more reasonably<footnote name="(6)" url="../december_footnotes/footnote242.xml"></footnote>] be supposed to be black. In short, the young
Husseys would persuade me, that to believe one's Eyes is a sure way
to be deceived; and have often advised me, by no means, to trust
any thing so fallible as my Senses. What I have to beg of you now
is, to turn one Speculation to the due Regulation of Female
Literature, so far at least, as to make it consistent with the
Quiet of such whose fate is to be liable to its Insults; and to
tell us the Difference between a gentelman that should make
Cheesecakes and raise Paste, and a Lady that reads <italic>Locke,</italic> and
understands the Mathematicks. In which you will extreamly oblige</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Your hearty Friend and humble Servant,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>Abraham Thrifty.</paragraph>
<paragraph>T.</paragraph>

<paragraph>1. No. 132.</paragraph>
<paragraph>2. [at a Box in a Play,]</paragraph>
<paragraph>3. [comes], and in first reprint.</paragraph>
<paragraph>4. [magnetical], and in first reprint.</paragraph>
<paragraph>5. [Distractions], and in first reprint.</paragraph>
<paragraph>6. [may more seasonably], and in first reprint.</paragraph>
</text>
</issue>
