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<title>The Spectator 228</title>
<header>
  <number>no. 228</number>
  <date>1711-11-21</date>
  <author>Richard Steele</author>
  <quotation>Percunctatorem fugito, nam Garrulus idem est.---Hor.</quotation>
  <translation>Hor. I Ep. xviii. 60.</translation>
  <translation>Th' inquisitive will blab; from such refrain:</translation>
  <translation>Their leaky ears no secret can retain.---Shard.</translation>
  </header>
<text>
<paragraph>THERE is a Creature who has
all the Organs of Speech, a tolerable good Capacity for conceiving
what is said to it, together with a pretty proper Behaviour in all
the Occurrences of common Life; but naturally very vacant of
Thought in itself, and therefore forced to apply it self to foreign
Assistances. Of this Make is that Man who is very inquisitive. You
may often observe, that tho' he speaks as good Sense as any Man
upon any thing with which he is well acquainted, he cannot trust to
the Range of his own Fancy to entertain himself upon that
Foundation, but goes on to still new Enquiries. Thus, tho' you know
he is fit for the most polite Conversation, you shall see him very
well contented to sit by a Jockey, giving an Account of the many
Revolutions in his Horse's Health, what Potion he made him take,
how that agreed with him, how afterwards he came to his Stomach and
his Exercise, or any the like Impertinence; and be as well pleased
as if you talked to him on the most important Truths. This Humour
is far from making a Man unhappy, tho' it may subject him to
Raillery; for he generally falls in with a Person who seems to be
born for him, which is your talkative Fellow. It is so ordered,
that there is a secret Bent, as natural as the Meeting of different
Sexes, in these two Characters, to supply each other's Wants. I had
the Honour the other Day to sit in a publick Room, and saw an
inquisitive Man look with an Air of Satisfaction upon the Approach
of one of these Talkers. The Man of ready Utterance sat down by
him, and rubbing his Head, leaning on his Arm, and making an uneasy
Countenance, he began; 'There is no manner of News To-day. I cannot
tell what is the Matter with me, but I slept very ill last Night;
whether I caught Cold or no, I know not, but I fancy I do not wear
Shoes thick enough for the Weather, and I have coughed all this
Week: It must be so; for the Custom of washing my Head Winter and
Summer with cold Water, prevents any Injury from the Season
entering that Way; so it must come in at my Feet; But I take no
notice of it: as it comes so it goes. Most of our Evils proceed
from too much Tenderness; and our Faces are naturally as little
able to resist the Cold as other Parts. The <italic>Indian</italic> answered very
well to an <italic>European,</italic> who asked him how he could go naked; I am all
Face.</paragraph>
<paragraph>I observed this Discourse was as welcome to my general
Enquirer as any other of more Consequence could have been; but some
Body calling our Talker to another Part of the Room, the Enquirer
told the next Man who sat by him, that Mr. Such a one, who was just
gone from him, used to wash his Head in cold Water every Morning;
and so repeated. almost verbatim all that had been said to him. The
Truth is, the Inquisitive are the Funnels of Conversation; they do
not take any thing for their own Use, but merely to pass it
another: They are the Channels through which all the Good and Evil
that is spoken in Town are conveyed. Such as are offended at them,
or think they suffer by their Behaviour, may themselves mend that
Inconvenience; for they are not a malicious People, and if you will
supply them, you may contradict any thing they have said before by
their own Mouths. A farther Account of a thing is one of the
gratefullest Goods that can arrive to them; and it is seldom that
they are more particular than to say, The Town will have it, or I
have it from a good Hand: So that there is room for the Town to
know the Matter more particularly, and for a better Hand to
contradict what was said by a good one.</paragraph>
<paragraph>I have not known this
Humour more ridiculous than in a Father, who has been earnestly
solicitous to have an Account how his Son has passed his leisure
Hours; if it be in a Way thoroughly insignificant, there cannot be
a greater Joy than an Enquirer discovers in seeing him follow so
hopefully his own Steps: But this Humour among Men is most pleasant
when they are saying something which is not wholly proper for a
third Person to hear, and yet it is itself indifferent. The other
Day there came in a well-dressed young Fellow, and two Gentlemen of
this Species immediately fell a whispering his Pedigree, I could
overhear, by Breaks, She was his Aunt; then an Answer, Ay, she was
of the Mother's Side: Then again in a little lower Voice, His
Father wore generally a darker Wig; Answer, Not much, But this
Gentleman wears higher Heels to his Shoes.</paragraph>
<paragraph>As the Inquisitive, in
my Opinion, are such merely from a Vacancy in their own
Imaginations, there is nothing, methinks, so dangerous as to
communicate Secrets to them; for the same Temper of Enquiry makes
them as Impertinently communicative: But no Man, though he
converses with them, need put himself in their Power, for they
,vill be contented with Matters of less Moment as well, When there
is Fuel enough, no matter what it is --- Thus the Ends of Sentences in
the News Papers, as, <italic>This wants Confirmation, This occasions many
Speculations,</italic> and <italic>Time will discover the Event,</italic> are read by them,
and considered not as mere Expletives.</paragraph>
<paragraph>One may see now and then
this Humour accompanied with an insatiable Desire of knowing what
passes, without turning it to any Use in the world but merely their
own Entertainment. A Mind which is gratified this Way is adapted to
Humour and Pleasantry, and formed for an unconcerned Character in
the World; and, like my self, to be a mere Spectator. This
Curiosity, without Malice or Self-interest, lays up in the
Imagination a Magazine of Circumstances which cannot but entertain
when they are produced in Conversation. If one were to know, from
the Man of the first Quality to the meanest Servant, the different
Intrigues, Sentiments, Pleasures, and Interests of Mankind, would
it not be the most pleasing Entertainment imaginable to enjoy so
constant a Farce, as the observing Mankind much more different from
themselves in their secret Thoughts and publick Actions, than in
their Night-caps and long Periwigs?</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Mr.</italic> SPECTATOR,</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Plutarch</italic> tells us, that <italic>Caius Gracchus,</italic> the <italic>Roman,</italic> was frequently hurried by his Passion into so loud and tumultuous a way of Speaking, and so strained his Voice as not to be able to proceed. To remedy this
Excess, he had an ingenious Servant, by Name <italic>Licinius,</italic> always
attended him with a Pitch-pipe, or Instrument to regulate the
Voice; who, whenever he heard his Master begin to be high,
immediately touched a soft Note; at which, 'tis said, <italic>Caius</italic> would
presently abate and grow calm.</paragraph>
<paragraph>Upon recollecting this Story, I have
frequently wondered that this useful Instrument should have been so
long discontinued; especially since we find that this good Office
of <italic>Licinius</italic> has preserved his Memory for many hundred Years, which,
methinks, should have encouraged some one to have revived it, if
not for the publick Good, yet for his own Credit. It may be
objected, that our loud Talkers are so fond of their own Noise,
that they would not take it well to be check' d by their Servants:
But granting this to be true, surely any of their Hearers have a
very good Title to play a soft Note in their own Defence. To be
short, no <italic>Licinius</italic> appearing and the Noise increasing, I was
resolved to give this late long Vacation to be the Good of my
Country; and I have at length, by the Assistance of an ingenious
Artist, (who works to the Royal Society) almost compleated my
Design, and shall be ready in a short Time to furnish the Publick
with what Number of these Instruments they please, either to lodge
at Coffee-houses, or carry for their own private Use. In the mean
time I shall pay that Respect to several Gentlemen, who I know will
be in Danger of offending against this Instrument, to give them
notice of it by private Letters, in which I shall only write, <italic>Get</italic> a
Licinius.</paragraph>
<paragraph>I should now trouble you no longer, but that I must not
conclude without desiring you to accept one of these Pipes, which
shall be left for you with <italic>Buckley;</italic> and which I hope will be
serviceable to you, since as you are silent yourself you are most
open to the Insults of the Noisy.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>I am, SIR,</italic> &#38;c. W. B.</paragraph>
<paragraph>I had almost forgot to inform you, that as an Improvement in this
Instrument, there will be a particular Note, which I call a
Hush-Note; and this is to be made use of against a long Story,
Swearing, Obsceneness, and the like.</paragraph>
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</issue>
