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<header>
<title>The Spectator</title>
  <number>no. 192</number>
  <date>1711-10-10</date>
  <author>Richard Steele</author>
  <quotation>------Uni ore omnes omnia</quotation>
  <quotation>Bona dicere, et Laudare fortunas meas,</quotation>
  <quotation>Qui Gnatum haberem tali ingenio pr&#230;ditum.---Ter.</quotation>
  <translation>Ter. Andr. Act i. Sc. I.</translation>
  <translation>---All the world</translation>
  <translation>With one accord said all good things, and praised</translation>
  <translation>My happy fortunes, who possess a son</translation>
  <translation>So good, so liberally disposed. ---Colman.</translation>
  </header>
<text>
<paragraph>I STOOD the other Day, and beheld a
Father sitting in the Middle of a Room with a large Family of
Children about him; and methought I could observe in his
Countenance different Motions of Delight, as he turned his Eye
towards the one and the other of them. The Man is a Person moderate
in his Designs for their Preferment and Welfare; and as he has an
easy Fortune, he is not sollicitous to make a great one. His eldest
Son is a Child of a very towardly Disposition, and as much as the
Father loves him, I dare say he will never be a Knave to improve
his Fortune. I do not know any Man who has a juster Relish of Life
than the Person I am speaking of, or keeps a better Guard against
the Terrors of Want or the Hopes of Gain. It is usual in a Crowd of
Children, for the Parent to name out of his own Flock all the great
Officers of the Kingdom. There is something so very surprizing in
the Parts of a Child of a Man's own, that there is nothing too
great to be expected from his Endowments. I know a good Woman who
has but three Sons, and there is, she says, nothing she expects
with more Certainty, than that she shall see one of them a Bishop,
the other a Judge, and the third a Court Physician. The Humour is,
that any thing which can happen to any Man's Child, is expected by
every Man for his own. But my Friend whom I was going to speak of,
does not flatter himself with such vain Expectations, but has his
Eye more upon the Virtue and Disposition of his Children, than
their Advancement or Wealth. Good Habits are what will certainly
improve a Man's Fortune and Reputation; but on the other side;
Affluence of Fortune will not as probably produce good Affections
of the Mind.</paragraph>
<paragraph>It is very natural for a Man of a kind Disposition to
amuse himself with the Promises his Imagination makes to him of the
future Condition of his Children, and to represent to himself the
Figure they shall bear in the World after he has left. When his
Prospects of this Kind are agreeable, his Fond- ness gives as it
were a longer Date to his own Life; and the Survivorship of a
worthy Man [in<footnote name="(1)" url="../october_footnotes/footnote192.xml"></footnote>] his Son is a Pleasure scarce inferior to the
Hopes of the Continuance of his own Life. That Man is happy who can
believe of his Son, that he will escape the Follies and
Indiscretions of which he himself was guilty, and pursue and
improve every thing that was valuable in him. The Continuance of
his Virtue is much more to be regarded than that of his Life; but
it is the most lamentable of all Reflections, to think that the
Heir of a Man's Fortune is such a one as will be a Stranger to his
Friends, alienated from the same Interests, and a Promoter of every
thing which he himself disapproved. An Estate in Possession. of
such a Successor to a good Man, is worse than laid waste; and the
Family of which he is the Head, is in a more deplorable Condition
than that of being extinct.</paragraph>
<paragraph>When I visit the agreeable Seat of my
honoured Friend <italic>Ruricola,</italic> and walk from Room to Room revolving many
pleasing Occurrences, and the Expressions of many just Sentiments I
have heard him utter, and see the Booby his Heir in Pain while he
is doing the Honours of his House to the Friend of his Father, the
Heaviness it gives one is not to be expressed. Want of Genius is
not to be imputed to any Man, but Want of Humanity is a Man's own
Fault. The Son of <italic>Ruricola,</italic> (whose Life was one continued Series of
worthy Actions and Gentleman-like Inclinations) is the Companion of
drunken Clowns, and knows no Sense of Praise but in the Flattery he
receives from his own Servants; his Pleasures are mean and
inordinate, his Language base and filthy, [his<footnote name="(2)" url="../october_footnotes/footnote192.xml"></footnote>] Behaviour rough
and absurd. Is this Creature to be accounted the Successor of a Man
of Virtue, Wit and Breeding? At the same time that I have this
melancholy Prospect at the House where I miss my old Friend, I can
go to a Gentleman's not far off it, where he has a Daughter who is
the Picture both of his Body and Mind, but both improved with the
Beauty and Modesty peculiar to her Sex. It is she who supplies the
Loss of her Father to the World; she, without his Name or Fortune,
is a truer Memorial of him, than her Brother who succeeds him in
both. Such an Offspring as the eldest Son of my Friend, perpetuates
his Father in the same manner as the Appearance of his Ghost would:
It. is indeed <italic>Ruricola,</italic> but it is <italic>Ruricola</italic> grown frightful.</paragraph>
<paragraph>I know not to what to attribute the brutal Turn which this young Man has
taken, except it may be to a certain Severity and Distance which
his Father used towards him, and might perhaps, have occasioned a
Dislike to those Modes of Life which were not made amiable to him
by Freedom and Affability.</paragraph>
<paragraph>We may promise our selves that no such
Excrescence will appear in the Family of the <italic>Cornelii</italic> where the
Father lives with his Sons like their eldest Brother, and the Sons
converse with him as if they did it for no other Reason but that he
is the wisest Man of their Acquaintance. As the <italic>Cornelii</italic> are
eminent Traders, their good Correspondence with each other is
useful to all that know them, as well as to themselves: And their
Friendship, Good-will and kind Offices, are disposed of jointly as
well as their Fortune, so that no one ever obliged one of them, who
had not the Obligation multiplied in Returns from them all.</paragraph>
<paragraph>It is the most beautiful Object the Eyes of Man can behold, to see a Man
of Worth and his Son live in an entire unreserved Correspondence.
The mutual Kindness and Affection between them give an
inexpressible Satisfaction to all who know them. It is a sublime
Pleasure which encreases by the Participation. It is as sacred as
Friendship, as pleasurable as Love, and as joyful as Religion. This
State of Mind does not only dissipate Sorrow, which would be
extream without it, but enlarges Pleasures which would otherwise be
contemptible. The most indifferent thing has its Force and Beauty
when it is spoke by a kind Father, and an insignificant Trifle has
its Weight when offered by a dutiful Child. I know not how to
express it, but I think I may call it a transplanted Self-love. All
the Enjoyments and Sufferings which a Man meets with are regarded
only as they concern him in the Relation he has to another. A Man's
very Honour receives anew Value to him, when he thinks that, when
he is in his Grave, it will be had in Remembrance that such an
Action was done by such a one's Father. Such Considerations sweeten
the old Man's Evening, and his Soliloquy delights him when he can
say to himself, No Man can tell my Child his Father was either
unmerciful or unjust: My Son shall meet many a Man who shall say to
him, I was obliged to thy Father, and be my Child a Friend to his
Child for ever.</paragraph>
<paragraph>It is not in the Power of all Men to leave
illustrious Names or great Fortunes to their Posterity, but they
can very much conduce to their having .Industry, Probity, Valour
and Justice: It is in every Man's Power to leave his Son the Honour
of descending from a virtuous Man, and add the Blessings of Heaven
to whatever he leaves him. I shall end this Rhapsody with a Letter
to an excellent young Man of my Acquaintance, who has lately lost a
worthy Father.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Dear Sir,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>I know no Part of Life more impertinent
than the Office of administring Consolation: I will not enter into
it, for I cannot but applaud your Grief. The virtuous Principles
you had from that excellent Man whom you have lost, have wrought in
you as they ought, to make a Youth of Three and Twenty incapable of
Comfort upon coming into Possession of a great Fortune. I doubt not
but that you will honour his Memory by a modest Enjoyment of his
Estate; and scorn to triumph over his Grave, by employing in Riot,
Excess, and Debauchery, what he purchased with so much Industry,
Prudence, and Wisdom. This is the true Way to shew the Sense you
have of your Loss, and to take away the Distress of others upon the
Occasion. You cannot recal your Father by your Grief, but you may
revive him to his Friends by your Conduct.</paragraph>
<paragraph>T.</paragraph>

<paragraph>1. [to], and in the first reprint.</paragraph>
<paragraph>2. [and his]</paragraph>
</text>
</issue>
