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<title>The Spectator 271</title>
<header>
  <number>no. 271</number>
  <date>1712-01-10</date>
  <author>Joseph Addison</author>
  <quotation>Mille trahens varios adverso sole colores.--Virg.<link name="(*)" url="http://tabula.rutgers.edu/latintexts/vergil/aeneid_georgics/aeneid4.html"></link></quotation>
  <translation>Virg. &#198;n. iv. 701.</translation>
  <translation>Drawing a thousand colours from the light. --- Dryden.</translation>
  </header>
<text>
<paragraph>I RECEIVE a double Advantage from the
Letters of my Correspondents, first as they shew me which of my
Papers are most acceptable to them; and in the next place as they
furnish me with Materials for new. Speculations. Sometimes indeed I
do not make use of the Letter it self, but form the Hints of it
into Plans of my own Invention; sometimes I take the Liberty to
change the Language or Thought into my own Way of Speaking and
Thinking, and always (if it can be done without Prejudice .to the
Sense) omit the many Compliments and Applauses which are usually.
bestowed upon me.</paragraph>
<paragraph>Besides the two Advantages above-mentioned which
I receive from the Letters that are sent me, they give me an
Opportunity of lengthning out my Paper by the skilful Management of
the subscribing Part at the End of them, which perhaps does not a
little conduce to the Ease, both of my self and Reader.</paragraph>
<paragraph>Some will have it, that I often write to my self, and am the only punctual
Correspondent I have. This Objection would have indeed be material,
were the Letters I communicate to the Publick stuffed with my own
Commendations: and if, instead of endeavouring to divert or
instruct my Readers, I admired in them the Beauty my own
Performances; But I shall leave these wise Conjecturers to their
own Imaginations, and produce the three following Letters for the
Entertainment of the Day.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>SIR,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>I was last <italic>Thursday</italic> in an Assembly
of Ladies, where there were Thirteen different coloured Hoods. Your
<italic>Spectator</italic> of that Day lying upon the Table, they ordered me to read
it to them, which I did with a very clear Voice, 'till I came to
the <italic>Greek</italic> Verse at the End of it. I must confess I was a little
startled at its popping upon me so unexpectedly. However, I covered
my Confusion as well as I could, and after having mutter'd two or
three hard Words to my self, laugh'd heartily, and cried, <italic>A very
good Jest, Faith.</italic> The Ladies desired me to explain it to them; but
I begged their pardon for that, and told them, that if it had been
proper for them to hear, they may be sure the Author would not have
wrapp'd it up in <italic>Greek.</italic> I then let drop several Expressions, as if
there was something in it that was not fit to be spoken before a
Company of Ladies. Upon which the Matron of the Assembly, who was
dressed in a Cherry-coloured Hood, commended the Discretion of the
Writer for having thrown his filthy Thoughts into <italic>Greek,</italic> which was
likely to corrupt but few of his Readers. At the same time she
declared herself very well pleased, that he had not given a
decisive Opinion upon the new-fashioned Hoods; for to tell you
truly, says she, I was afraid he would have made us ashamed to shew
our Heads. Now, Sir, you must know, since this unlucky Accident
happened to me in a Company of Ladies, among whom I passed for a
most ingenious Man, I have consulted one who is well versed in the
<italic>Greek</italic> Language, and he assures me upon his Word, that your late
Quotation means no more, than that <italic>Manners and not Dress are the
Ornaments of a Woman.</italic> If this comes to the Knowledge of my Female
Admirers, I shall be very hard put to it to bring my self off
handsomely. In the mean while I give you this Account, that you may
take care hereafter not to betray any of your Well-wishers into the
like Inconveniencies. It is in the Number of these that I beg leave
to subscribe my self,</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Tom Trippit.</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Mr.</italic> SPECTATOR,</paragraph>
<paragraph>Your Readers are so well pleased with your Character of Sir ROGER DE COVERLEY, that
there appeared a sensible Joy in every Coffee-house, upon hearing
the old Knight was come to Town. I am now with a Knot of his
Admirers, who make it their joint Request to you, that you would
give us publick Notice of the Window or Balcony where the Knight
intends to make his Appearance. He has already given great
Satisfaction to several who have seen him at <italic>Squire's</italic> Coffee-house.
If you think fit to place your short Face at Sir ROGER'S Left
Elbow, we shall take the Hint, and gratefully.acknowledge so great
a Favour.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>I am, Sir,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Your most Devoted</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Humble Servant,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>C. D.</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>SIR,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>Knowing that you are very Inquisitive after every thing that is
Curious in Nature, I will wait on you if you please in the Dusk of
the Evening, with my Show, upon my Back, which I carry about with
me in a Box, as only consisting of a Man, a Woman, and an Horse.
The two first are married, in which State the little Cavalier has
so well acquitted himself, that his Lady is with Child. The
big-bellied Woman, and her Husband, with their whimsical Palfry,
are so very light, that when they are put together into a Scale, an
ordinary Man may weigh down the whole Family. The little Man is a
Bully in his Nature; but when he grows cholerick I confine him to
his Box till his Wrath is over, by which Means I have hitherto
prevented him from doing Mischief. His Horse is likewise very
vicious, for which Reason I am forced to tie him close to his
Manger with a Pack-thread. The Woman is a Coquet. She struts as
much as it is possible for a Lady of two Foot high, and would ruin
me in Silks, were not the Quantity that goes to a large Pin-Cushion
sufficient to make her a Gown and Petticoat. She told me the other
Day, that she heard the Ladies wore coloured Hoods, and ordered me
to get her one of the finest Blue. I am forced to comply with her
Demands while she is in her present Condition, being very willing
to have more of the same Breed. I do not know what she may produce
me, but provided it be a <italic>Show</italic> I shall be very well satisfied. Such.
Novelties should not, I think, be concealed from the <italic>British
Spectator;</italic> for which Reason I hope you will excuse this Presumption
in</paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>Your most Dutiful,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>most Obedient,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph><italic>and most Humble Servant,</italic></paragraph>
<paragraph>S.T.</paragraph>
<paragraph>L.</paragraph>
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